The child within each of us, grown-ups, is attracted to pretty and sweet-smelling *things*.
Thus, why would I want laundry detergents that are grey, the natural color, I presume, of untreated liquids?
I want them blue and green and orange or pearl. I want my powders to be pretty in white dusted with blue or in blue speckled with white.
Scientists know how to spoil me and make me smile when I pour that liquid that’s pretty enough to eat and smells as fragrant as a meadow in springtime.
If I want my whites whitened to hide the wear and tear of usage, it’s because I love my whites. I also want the very tiniest microscopic speck of dirt to be blasted out of the fibers where it likes to lurk with minimum tumbler action. Rubbing is out of the question and I how I love my pre-wash sprays!
Scientists know. They know how to make me happy. Like attentive parents, they give me what makes me smile.
They spare me unnecessary driving and even better, unnecessary walking by making sure every product I buy has a long shelf life.
They keep my oranges orange, my lemons yellow and my broccoli green-green.
They know how important it is to the education of my children to show them fruit and vegetables that have true colors and that look good enough to eat.
Away with horrid poke-marked skins!
Ah, if only I could share my Parabens-enriched facial cream with all these poor locally-grown fruit!
Truly, scientists are my best friends. They help me daily.
They know I don’t cope well with a running nose, coughs and sore throats and they know I much prefer lovely, colored pills and smooth capsules to porous ones that stick to the throat.
Being sick is sad enough, but how much sadder would it be if we had to ingest grey cough syrup!
Just looking at that happy green or burgundy syrup gives me a lift.
And scientists are so thoughtful that whether I drink milk or wine, in my chips or in my buns,they will always keep up my maximum level of chemical add-itives.
Awh, and look at the flower-boosters and growth boosters my dear friends, the scientists, have added to my potting mix.
They know how important *fast, easy & pretty* is to me, even when it comes to my plants.
And, of course, how would I manage without my scientists when it comes to killing nasty-nasty weed and reaching their roots system deeper and deeper into the ground. And no good having such lovely sprays washed off by the first rain.
Scientists have been very good to me for a very long time.
They do truly try their best to make me happy, but when it comes to living a long and pain-free life in spite of the mesh of the chemicals they weave around all what I ingest, drink and breathe, they have a problem.
Ah, never fear. My scientist friends have – of course – the right solution for me: aggressive chemical therapies.
Oh, aren’t scientists just the best?
They are, but-but, should they, for some unforseen reason, stop making me the focus of their life, I do, I do pray they will leave me with a life-long supply of sodium ibuprofen dihydrate because that chemical is one that I truly, truly value … the most.
Honest 
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